Genes

I think the way genetic disorders are generally perceived is crude and wrong. When I was diagnosed with CF, I was told "People like you don't get well. Symptom management is the name of the game." I don't agree.

I suspect the following: a) Most of the "symptoms" assumed to be "CF traits" are really tertiary consequences of being constantly sick and b) if you can genuinely get the person well, a lot of those things can change substantially.

• Drugs manipulate the body.
• Nutritional approaches build the body properly.
• Lifestyle changes prevent assault upon the body.

Chains: I dreamed one night that I was an ogre with chains around my neck as if I had once been chained up but had escaped. The chains were still around my neck and I could not remove them but I was now free because the connection (to a wall or other fixed object) had been severed.

I think part of what the dream means is this: The chains represent my genes. Afterall, genes are chains of amino acids which trap us with certain inescapable traits. But the chains only imprison me if I am trapped by their connection at the other end. The connection at the other end is the invisible chains of social expectations, habit, tradition, and so forth -- in short, our lifestyles. I cannot change my genes. But I can break free from external expectations of how one "should" live if it doesn't work for me. With CF, such expectations can rapidly become life-threatening. In the face of this fact, I have felt empowered to ignore the shock and disapproval of others and do what makes me healthy.

Ants and bees.
Humans believe that genes dictate outcomes and our genes are our destiny. Ants and bees know better. When a queen dies, they do something different with some of the developing young in order to change the outcome from a normal insect to a queen. Following in the footsteps of lowly ants, I have chosen to do something different so as to defy the expectation that "people like you don't get well".